Goonies Never Say Die!
by Thomas Zermeno, PCI #1390T-B EMSCI #412T-B
Norman (OK) Police Department
IPMBA Board Member (Education)
Hey you GUYYYYYYS!!!” Remember this famous quote from yet another of my favorite movies, The Goonies? This 1985 movie reminds us what it means to be a friend, or “Goonie”. This is what IPMBA means to me. I am an IPMBA Goonie. Once you join, you become one of us. You may quote Andy when the Goonies were in the wishing well and Troy dropped down the bucket: “I’m not a Goonie! I wanna go home.” We all know how that ended up, don’t we? In case you don’t remember, she became a Goonie. It’s contagious.
Being a part of IPMBA is like being a Goonie. No matter how your first exposure to the organization occurs, IPMBA becomes a part of you and you it. It might not start with a “truffle shuffle” or a zipline into the screen door, but once you are in, you stay. The best time for me is attending or hosting IPMBA training. It is like a meeting in the attic, where we dig through memories, joke a little, like Mouth did to the painting, and stumble upon things, like when Chunk knocked over the picture, breaking the glass. Now, we likely will not find a treasure map and a strange-looking skeleton key, and then read an article that inspires us to go on an adventure and find “rich stuff”. But, we will find the rich stuff that makes up IPMBA: likeminded people. IPMBA Goonies. We almost always hear and tell stories about some of the greats that have patrolled the streets, instructed courses, and most importantly, touched our lives and left an impression. One of my favorite experiences was meeting the “helmet fit guy” at the 2022 IPMBA Conference in Dayton, Ohio. He signed my helmet. So cool to have.
Once you set off on the adventure that is IPMBA, you learn about what we do. It is like when the Goonies find the entrance into the chasm leading to the rich stuff. First, they find the restaurant that was being used as a hideout. Then they find the secret entrance in the basement after Chunk knocks over the water container and they hear the water leaking into the ground beneath the fireplace.
Compare this to the first day of IPMBA basic school. You remember this, right? The instructor tells you about the 10’ box and explains the skill. Then, this master of bike ninjas rides into it and demonstrates it as if it is the easiest thing to do on a bike. Then it is your turn. You psych yourself up and get in there. Like Chunk, you say to yourself, “I got it, I got it.” Then, like Chunk, you realize, “I don’t got it,” and CRASH!! You hit the ground. That crash causes the water to leak through the cracks under the fireplace, and you realize that there is much more to this bike stuff than just riding around in a circle. You find the way to the rich stuff. Or maybe you thought Data was setting “booty traps”, and that is what caused you to fall. Either way, the experience is shared with others in your class, and a permanent bond is forged. By the end of the week, you will likely “smell like Phys Ed,” as Chunk says, but you will have had what might be the greatest adventure of your career in public safety.
Your journey starts with your first experience, but where you take it is up to you. You might stop once you find the wishing well, or when you find Chester Copperpot, who didn’t get as far as you. But the farther you venture, the more you will find. And eventually, you will find the pirate ship where One-Eyed Willy’s rich stuff is stashed. And when you do, you will become one of the greatest IPMBA Goonies. The choice is yours.
Remember: “Goonies never say die.” I hope to see you in Bentonville, Arkansas, June 24-29, 2024!
Thomas joined the Norman Police Department in 2009. He is currently assigned to night shift patrol and is the training coordinator and instructor for the bike team. He has been active with IPMBA since 2011, after taking the IPMBA Police Cyclist Course. He was certified as a PCI in 2013 at the IPMBA Conference in Baton Rouge and cross-trained as an EMSCI in 2017. He became an Instructor Trainer in 2019, BRT certified in 2020, and BRT instructor certified in 2021. He currently serves as Education Coordinator on the IPMBA Board of Directors. He can be reached at Thomas.Zermeno@yahoo.com.
(c) 2023 IPMBA. This article appeared in the 2023 Board Issue of IPMBA News.