The Case of the Exploding Buckeye

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by Robert Hatcher, PCI #629-B/EMSCI #103-B
Delaware (OH) Police Department

It was just another day at the races. The world-famous Little Brown Jug harness race, that is, which is held at the fairgrounds in Delaware, Ohio. Attendees of the Bicycle Response Team Training at the 2017 IPMBA Conference will remember it as the site of the “Zombie Apocalypse”.

Part of the fun of the event is the “fair food”, most of which is, of course, fried. After a year without it, I set out on patrol, ready to make up for lost opportunities.

Those of you who are not from Ohio may not be familiar with the buckeye. A buckeye is a “useless nut from Ohio”.

Technically, it is the inedible fruit of the Buckeye tree, which is the state tree, but it is also a good-natured reference to certain people, mostly fans of a certain university’s sports teams. More importantly, it is a tasty chocolate-peanut butter ball of goodness.

One works up an appetite on bicycle patrol, so I decided I’d try the deep-fried variety. Why not? I’m at the fair. So, I ordered ‘em up. Buckeyes are usually two bites of deliciousness. In this case, they are submerged in batter, then fried. Definitely two-bite territory...or so I assumed. I received the order and proceeded with caution, knowing that the peanut butter, wrapped in chocolate, submerged in batter, fried in oil, and sprinkled with powdered sugar, might be just a touch hot – or like molten lava.

I bit into said ball of potential lava and boom! The contents squirted out onto my face, hand, and the only napkin they gave me. Luckily, it was less like lava and more like Hershey’s syrup. The day was a bit windy, so the snow-like confection topping coating said deep-fried buckeyes flew about the area and landed on my black vest and pants. It was a total mess and my partner, Adrian, chuckled a wee bit. Lesson learned...deep-fried buckeyes are strictly one bite of deliciousness!

Would I buy them again? Probably not. Seven dollars is a high price to pay for the mess they made.

I do wonder which would be messier: the deep-fried buckeyes or the pretzel stuffed with s'mores that I was also considering. I will have to find out next year!

A Day at the Races

Weather: 50 degrees (10 C) and windy
Hours On Duty: 13
Hours in the Saddle: 6
Distance Ridden: 38.75 miles (60.35 km)
Riding Conditions: Mud (actually, a combination of rain water, dirt, gravel, and horse waste)
Average Speed: 6.5 mph (10.46 kph)
Arrests: 0
Amount Spent on Fair Food: $30

It was an awesome day! (Really, it was!)

Robert joined the Delaware Police Department in 1997. He is currently assigned to the Community Education Division and helps coordinate the bike team. He has been active with IPMBA since 2000, after taking the IPMBA Police Cyclist Course in Dayton, Ohio. He was certified as an IPMBA Instructor in 2002. He served on the IPMBA Board of Directors from 2009-2015 and organized the 2017 IPMBA Conference in Delaware, Ohio. He can be reached at rhatcher@delawareohio.net.

Photo: Ohio State Fair Facebook Page

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