I’m Still Here
by Allan Howard, PCI #001T
Dayton (OH) Police Department
I’m sitting here on a cold and snowy day, reflecting on the year 2020 and all it brought us. As you may know, in August of last year I had a pretty bad crash on my road bike. As a result, on August 6, 2020, a pulmonary embolism (PE) blood clot stopped my breathing and heart for over ten minutes; indeed, I was “gone”. Thanks to quick-acting first responders and hospital personnel, I’m here today to tell the story. There are some residual effects from the original injures and the PE event but that won’t stop me from riding my bicycles and motorcycles as soon as the snow and cold weather are gone.
As you might guess, I’m glad to be “here” and it’s easy for me to draw a direct comparison to IPMBA still being “here”. Am I happy that 2020 and 2021 mark the first years since 1991 that we have not had an international conference? No, I can’t say that. However, I’m proud that the organization we built 30 years ago is still going strong. In fact, strong enough to survive the unforeseeable events that could have buried the less prepared. That makes me proud and I derive happiness from that.
Strength doesn’t come from sitting in an easy chair, eating what you want. It’s derived from being uncomfortable, doing things you’d rather not do, and not quitting when you think you can’t go on. When I taught at the police academy, I told the recruits they had a choice. They could invest an hour of their lives every day to do battle with the natural declining condition of the human body and receive as a benefit that the other twenty-three hours of the day would be a cake walk. Or, they could take it easy every day and soon every hour of every day would a challenge. So much so that even the littlest thing would seem, and quite possibly be, impossible.
The past year, for our country and this organization, has been very much like my crash. Some of the same psychology applies for survival and recovery. There is a world of difference between laying on the ground thinking “OK, this just happened, I need to get these things done ASAP so I can survive” and “That’s it, I’m done for; this hurts so badly I’ll take whatever comes just to make it stop”. Mentally preparing and training for just such a thing is the difference. We are not a product of what happens to us; we are a product of how we deal with what happens to us.
If we choose to focus solely on how to solve or deal with the problem(s), we will come out the other side stronger than we were before. However, if we allow ourselves to be victims, that’s exactly what we’ll be, from that moment forward. One last thought with regard to attitude, my grandma used to say something that didn’t make sense until I was older. She said, “Holding on to anger, hate, or resentment is like drinking poison, hoping someone else will die.” When I finally understood, my life became less stressful.
Now is the time for us to take stock of our organization and be thankful for what we’ve accomplished up to this point. It’s also time for us to move forward while looking ahead and not diverting our focus with things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only thing that changes when you keep looking back with regret is the future. If you don’t believe me, go out and ride your bike or motorcycle, or drive your car, while looking in the mirror.
I’m proud to be a member of this organization and that we have endured the test of time. When we started IPMBA there was no “mirror” to look in, so all we could see was the future. I believed then, as I do now, that this is the way forward.
My last thought is this: if you find yourself in the position of being able to donate anything to offset the lost revenue of the conferences, please do. I feel strongly that we need this organization to provide specialized training to those who do our part to keep the public safe and be able to go home at night to our loved ones. Now more than ever.
Be well, be safe, and be positive.
- Allan
(C) 2021 IPMBA. This article appeared in the 2021 IPMBA News Product Guide.